On Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 4:28 PM, Sophie Tsai <godluvu99@yahoo.com> wrote:
Dearest Beloved,About 9 days ago, my depression (in remission for about 5 years) surprisingly came back!It caught me off guard and a cloud of hopelessness, inability to make decisions/concentrate and numbness/lack of motivation swept over me. I don't know what happened, whether it is my December encounter with my dad (which didn't go well ~ subconsciously affected me?), or was my body weak from laprascopy, or I had tried to wean off my Paxil (antidepressant) last month and my body is now suffering from withdrawal....But whatever it is, the past few days I've spent lots of time in God's Word, claiming His promises, and praying for God's peace that surpasses understanding.
With hubby's love, care, and cooking for the family, I am going to cling to God's promise that He never leaves or forsakes me, no matter how I may feel at the present time. I will be seeing my psychiatrist next Tuesday to evaluate my current situation/medication dosage. This Wednesday,I will go to OB to have Mirena Intra-Uterine device placed in the uterus to prevent future cysts from growing back (maybe this procedure was a stressor too...I would need this device, which releases chemicals monthly, placed in the uterus until I reach menopause).
In the midst of this emotional (or emotion-less) storm, I was forced to slow down and focus on what is really important. There is the temptation to panic, since I have trouble remembering things or make decisions lately, and feel a cloud of hopelessness I cannot shake off, but I am making a willful choice to keep on trusting the Lord and not worry/whine/get angry/self-pity but do my part to get medical help, exercise lots, eat healthy, and also obey the Lord and be thankful in all circumstances. Please keep me in your prayers......There are many distractions in this life, and lately I've had to re-prioritize and do only what is most important. God is soverign, compassionate, and merciful, and He will take care of us, even if we are weak, disoriented, feel unworthy (we're not!) and feel like giving up at times. I will continue to pray for you, and all of my beloved family members, that we stand firm and not be discouraged when we are faced with challenges we may not understand fully. May the Lord continue to heal, protect, and hold you in His loving embrace! He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it!!I love you all!Sophie
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